Fall In

Autumn is upon us. It's getting colder. I have to wear my hoodie in the house now, and I closed all the windows. I guess I should probably move the window A/C unit to its storage position for the next several months, but well - as silly and cliche as it sounds, I don't want to break another nail.

(I ripped my right hand, middle fingernail the other morning trying to close a window, and it's one of those deep down rips that you can't really cut off like you would a normal hangnail. I got nail glue and gave myself a manicure earlier tonight to tempt myself away from messing with it. It was driving me crazy, all rough and poking out like that. Now it's smooth and hidden away under two coats of Choco-latte Complete Salon Manicure by Sally Henson. It's pretty spiffy if I do say so myself. And I do, say so myself. I'm usually not very good at manicures. I tend to get the polish all over everything - my cuticles, my clothes, any nearby furniture...)

And besides that, I can barely lift the damn thing. It's really heavy.

So apart from being colder lately, I guess I don't have a whole lot to report. I'm not really looking forward to Halloween this year, since I always always always smoke when I'm at parties and now that I'm going on 5 months, I really don't want to get drunk and bum smokes off of my friends. I don't have a cool costume, just doing the nurse thing and Poncho has his doctor costume to match. But yeah.

I've been jonesing for a cigarette sooooo badly today. It started when I bought a Magic Hat Brewing Co. multipack with a bunch of cool seasonal beers. Drinking makes me crave smoking so much. I guess it's 'cause I don't drink much... I haven't had a chance to develop new associations like I did with driving and talking on the phone and coffee.

Poncho is calling from work.

I love that boy so damn much.

Where was I? Bitching about breaking nails and cold weather, it looks like. Moving on.

We're trying to get the at-home agent thing set up. Charter is go. We have the phones the company gave us, and the headsets and everything. The only delay is due to the fact that the internet is not acknowledging the phones. Poo. IT is going to have to come out to our house and fix it. Maybe we can set that up Monday.

My LEEP procedure is this week. I have meds for anxiety and meds for pain and I'm nervous but I really just want to get it over with. My mom is coming for the weekend and I'm really looking forward to that, even though there's a good likelihood that I'll be pretty much unconscious while she's here.

I have the day off tomorrow, and so does Poncho. I can't remember that last day we had off together. I'm so excited. I want to do something special, but I can't think of anything that we can really afford. We have beer and movies here, so we'll probably just stay in. I feel bad, being a shut-in... I just can't afford to go out and do things. Especially with all the dough we had to spend to get this work-at-home thing set up. And I've missed a lot of work due to sickness. Next month should be better. I'm hoping we can go out to eat again soon. It's so much fun to go on dates.

No matter what else may be wrong in my life, Poncho is going right. It makes all the difference to go through this with my partner. I still feel crappy sometimes, but he brings me out of my head for a while. Which is nice. It's noisy up there.