Used To (A Poem)

I used to cry

And pray

To whatever is
Up there
Out there
If there
Even is

Something.
---
I used to cry
because it hurt so much

Everything
Hurt so much

And I would pray
The only atheist's prayer
The only way I could pray
as desperate
as hopeless
as helpless
wallowing in last chances
drowning in broken promises

Waiting

Wanting

Something.
---
To be anything

So I could be
Just be
Just me

Because it hurt
(so bad)
To be your's
To be his
To be their's
Or not be(long)
To anyone
---
Crying so hard
Hurting so much
I have not forgotten
Even as I have recovered
Even though I have moved on

I will never forget
I will never forgive

Even now

With pure love
Safe sex
Desired kisses
and Cuddles
Even as I am sated
I will never forgive you
Any of you

Because I cried
And I prayed

I do not like "praying"

I like wishing

And I do not forgive
People
Who make me do
Things
I do not

LIKE

or

WANT

To do


©2010 ~strawberry-goodness