Scritch - A Poem

I just want to feel beautiful
But there's a NEED
Chewing through the edges of my sanity
The cannabalist endeavors of my OCD
Can't stop the seething (hangnails) of hypocrisy
The suicidal tendencies of my Vanity
To smooth and soften
Smooth and soften
Hopelessly

I feel the need to be clean
So I'm picking at the edges of my decency
I can't help but tear the little patches of inadequacy
While my fingers skim perfectionary
And feel the places where I am most me
Ugly, surreptitiously
Feeling fidgets
Feel 'n' fidget
Horribly

It bothers me
And tortures me
This comforting and crazy thing
Perfection-free, perfection fee
It torments me impulsively
Sets me free
By hurting me

Bite and
Chew and
Pick and Claw
Scratching, writhing
Twitching
Ticking

Choosing to fulfill them
Just wanting to be smooth and clean
Means Polluting and Destroying the skin I'm in
To feel free from them
The cycle begins again

The Hypocrisy within my cause makes me want to
SCREAM
But I'd rather feel the smooth release
than live my life in scabbed disease