Monday, August 22, 2011

The Waterfall's Magic - A Poem

Watching boys jump off cliffs
Hitting water with a sound like breaking glass
Egging them on like I have no fear
But I do
I'm afraid of heights
And in ways,
I'm afraid of you

Safe beyond the realm of the splash zone
Out of reach and out of touch
I'm saying things to him that I won't remember
But I do
Remember thinking them about you

Watching green light filter down
Through tree leaves and over things
Like a liquid haze
A fog descends
A love spell for when this world ends

And the world is dappled green and gold
Like my eyes are in the sunshine
And I try my best to show their colors
In the nighttime
Freckles fade and so do dreams
But magic stayed

And I feel real today
But like a mermaid
Perched and flouncing
Highlights in the forest shade
Daydreams of themes long overplayed

But I feel real today

And the world is dappled green and gold
And slightly gray
The rain comes but we all stay
Huddled up under towels like child's play
Next we'll build a fort and skip away
To play tag like it was yesterday

And I'm watching boys jump off cliffs
And oh so very coy
But boy
How delicious
It is to see you smile

And I feel real today

But the green and golden world
Is turning all gray
And I'm afraid the waterfall of memories
That come as cascades
Will dissipate
I anticipate
Will go away

But I'm egging you on like I have no fear
But I do
I'm afraid of heights
And in ways,
I'm afraid of you

Afraid of what to do without two

So I take a jump off the waterfall
To come to

Cold water washes all the magic away
But then again,
I guess that's what makes it magic anyway
The fact that it doesn't stay

©2011 ~strawberry-goodness

Blueberry Beer - A Poem

I'm staring at the farscape of a waterfall
And there are pitfalls for pitstops along the way
It's been a topsy-turvy sort of day
And I'm growing cold in the summer shade

As my pen snicker-snacks across the page
The light filters down as the sun fades
And even while it's raining it's greenish gray
It's all green, green like I used to be

Filtered down and bottled up into a new me
Pop the top and watch me fill up
Spill over
And foam at the mouth for more

Now I'm glancing side to side as we trip along
This brushy, lush trail on both sides
Craggy rocks and undercroppings fill both eyes
A hushed whisper-rushing water drip-drops past

Shoulder-rubbing, nature-clubbing hypocrisy
I smoke cigarettes with no regrets for apathy
And it's been a sleepy waking-dreamy kind of day
And it's all
Green and
Light and
Sound and

I'm drinking coffee from a can so it's all clear
And now I'm sipping on this blue bottled berry beer
As the light filters down to me, all I can hear
Is water crashing
People laughing
I'm out of here

The water's cold, but so is the beer
And after a few more I'm hoping
It'll kill the fear
A fear of heights is all I'm fighting here
Just so we're clear

So drown my eloquence in froth and foam
Bluberry beer
Then take that leap of faith and swim away
I'm out of here

©2011 ~strawberry-goodness

The Question - A Poem

Why do I suck it up
When it's so hard
To breathe
And these medications
Make it hard to feed

This need

I've lost 10 pounds
Since I went back
Doctoral solutions
To permanent problems
Outliers and chandeliers
I'll be cavalier
About this cancer
That they can't cut out
Of me

And all I want to know is:
What are the right questions
To ask, anyway?
All I know is this need to feed

And I bite nails until they bleed
Smoke cigarettes I can't speed;
I've lost 10 minutes since I went back
Out back
My own walk of shame
For this nicotine game
And the nurse wants me to quit
But these environmental
Attributions keep this cancer at bay

And all I want to know is:
What are the right questions
To ask, anyway?
All I know is this need to feed

And I lick lips until they stick
And they're too dry to smack
I'm too quick to beg a bitch-slap
Into a come-back
I've lost 10 seconds since I went back
And my friends want me to stop
But these emotions
Cause the cancer to grow inside of me

And all I want to know is:
What are the right questions
To ask, anyway?
All I know is this need to feed

And that I need another cigarette
To put my aching mind at ease

©2011 ~strawberry-goodness

Tangled - A Poem

Tangled up in you, in all that blue
And I think my thoughts are jumbled
'Cause I giggled when we stumbled
And I feel like my feelings are too true
'Cause I told you when I was into you

And now I don't want to be
Any other way
But tango in that tangle
I want to wriggle, writhe and wrangle
Listen to the sounds with eyes closed
And I would purr if I could
So I should
And I would what I should
If I could with you
If you would

And we're tangled
And I'm strangled with need
Learning the lines of your face
And my fingertips tingle
'Cause your touch, it lingers
And mingles with these heated

And it's so easy to get caught up
And I think I'm too easy
'Cause it's more natural
Than my ragged breathing
And the softness
Send tempests
Through my veins

And it's like a puzzle we were missing
Pieces to
Pieces like me and you
And now it's raining down
And now we're untangling, rearranging
And I swear I'm managing

I don't like surprises
Or rainstorms
But I'm managing
Forgotten topographies
Rewritten biographies
Hindsight is 20/20

And I don't want it
Any other way
I want to wriggle and to wrangle
Listen to the sounds
Like raindrops
And waterfalls
With eyes closed
Mouth gasping

And I don't want it
Any other way
I want to snuggle and tango
To sigh and to mangle
These bedsheets are tangled
And I should what I could
If you would what you want
'Cause I want to

Be tangled with you

©2011 ~strawberry-goodness

Sunday, August 21, 2011

The First Night - A Poem

I thought it was Friday night
T.G.I. Eff it like Katy Perry
But it was the night after,
Like the calendar says, so --
The morning started slow,
Guys and Dolls like Clara-Beara
It was the time of day that makes you
The Uncharted
Blood sugar levels low,
Like dem jeans,
Let's get retarded
And I'm medicated, down and out
Three times a day, but four has started
And the party's just gettin' started,
I'm sick of gettin' carded
But I'm a little too late,
Too little to go, so fuck it

And I thought it was Friday night
The night you showed up
And the videogames are now a blur
Arcades and Barcades and barricades and castle-walls
Are crashing down
And the pitter-patter of little-big feet down the hall
Like rain on my Honda's windshield at night
With head-lights on,
And the laughter is now a blur, all smiles and dimples
Shining eyes, passing lanes, dotted lines, boundaries and timelines
Too drunk to drive but I swear I'm just right
For tonight

I thought it was Friday night
Partying it up like Pink
So raise your glass, fellow rockstars
And shake your ass like it's your right, sirs
And let's forget to dance to the night away
Forget to remember anything and just be
We'll let it happen like a slow burn
My heart's an ember like a slow burn
And our love was like an engine's purr
With some false starts
So help me fan the flames with disco and cigarette butts
Collect the kisses in the hallway
Slip-n-slide, back and forth
The kind of kisses that linger and melt away
Like sugar in the coffee of the morning after

And I thought it was Friday night
And the music beat down to my soul
Through my toes and the soles of my feet
Feel the beat
And it made me wriggle 'till I fell apart
I just want to know how to hold my heart
So raise your face to mine and don't let go
Too soon
And let's live in the present since that's all we have
To go on
Go on for so long
And let's remember what we both forgot
Since the history is still in the making
And I know we're both sorry we never asked

But I thought it was Friday night
And I don't mind being wrong
I loved every minute of it
Forgetting and memorizing
The days of the week and how to breathe
And how to make my legs shake
Sweating all over
And I swear I thought it was over
We were over
Let go and pull it all in
Like letting rain fall on my upturned face
Pitter-patter like my pounding heart
And my heartbeats
Are in time now
With the music of the stars
Like a metronome
To this soundtrack of heartstrings and sweet nothings
That mean everything
To me

And now I know it was Saturday
And I don't mind looking back
Writing down everything I can remember
Because I loved every minute of it
Every mile of the journey
And I don't want to forget the past
Our past
But I do want to escape the present
'Cause I swear that I thought it was over
We were over
But I don't mind being wrong
I just hope against hope that you feel the same
Turn these pages with my shaking hand
While I avert my hazel eyes
Of forgetting to be jaded
Wading in
Up to the waist
Even though the water's freezing
The water's fine
And I'll always remember that it was Saturday night
And the way it felt
And the way we were
Just don't go chasing waterfalls
Stick to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to
Like Saturday night
feeling so right
feeling so much
feeling all night
Just remember, I'll be alright
Holding on to the memory of that night.

©2011 ~strawberry-goodness