Ruptured

I had an ovarian cyst rupture last night. Oh boy, what fun that was. Lucky me - Poncho had some pain killers left over from his sore throat. I was able to get a full night's sleep and feel loads better today. But god, I felt like I was going to die last night. Or like I was in labor. It would come in waves, my entire core felt like it was cramped up in a bundle of pain, shot through with a stabbing sensation like my insides were some sort of pin cushion.

I thought I had food poisoning. But I never had a fever, or broke out in a clammy sweat or threw up or anything like I did when I had food poisoning a few years ago.

I've been thinking a lot about pregnancy. I have my second colposcopy coming up on a few short weeks. I'll have to have a LEEP procedure done to remove the affected areas. Removing bits and pieces of my cervix will increase the likelihood of a late-term miscarriage if I do ever get pregnant after the procedure. I won't be able to carry a child to term. I've been thinking about maybe trying for a baby before they cut me to pieces inside. I wonder if they could delay the operation for a year... It's a big responsibility, and we're not exactly where I'd like for us to be when we have our first child. But I would like to have a baby at an inconvenient time than to never have one at all. I'll have to talk with my family about it. And my OB-GYN. It might not even be a possibility, or a necessity, depending on the procedure and the severity of the condition and all that. We shall see.

Poncho, my lovely darling sweetiekins - I just want to say thank you. You're amazing. I am so grateful for you. I made a wish and you came true.